The Silver Linings Playbook Chapter 27

As If He Were Yoda and I Were Luke Skywalker Training on the Dagobah SystemWhen we finish discussing our Kubb tourney victory and Mrs. Patels extraordinary ability to render an exact likeness of Brian Dawkinss bust on the hood of a school bus, I pick the black mope and tell Cliff I am a little depressed.Whats wrong? he says, pulling the lever and raising his footrest.Terrell Owens.Cliff nods, as if he were expecting me to generate up the wide receivers name.I did non deficiency to talk ab let on this earlier, but it was reported that Terrell Owens (or T.O.) tried to kill himself on September 26. News reports state that T.O. overdosed on a pain medication. Later, after T.O. was released from the hospital, he said he did not try to kill himself, and thus everyone began to think he was crazy.I reckon T.O. as a young 49er, but Owens was not on the 49ers roster when I watched the Eagles play in San Francisco a few weeks ago. What I learned from cultivation the sports pages was tha t T.O. had played for the Eagles when I was in the bad place, and he had helped the Birds get to Super Bowl XXXIX, which I do not remember at completely. (Maybe this is good, since the Eagles lost, but not remembering lock up makes me feel crazy.) T.O. app arntly held out for more money the next year, said bad things rough Eagles QB Donovan McNabb, was suspended for the second half of the season, and then was actu every(prenominal)y cut from the team, so he signed with the very team Eagles fans hate most the Cowboys. And because of this, everyone in Philadelphia currently hates T.O. more than just about anyone else on the planet.T.O.? Dont worry about him, Cliff says. Dawkins is going to hit him so hard that Owens will be afraid to catch any balls at the Linc.Im not distressed about T.O. making catches and scoring touch bug outs.Cliff looks at me for a second, as if he does not know how to respond, and then says, Tell me what worries you.My father refers to T.O. as a psychopat hic pill popper. And on the phone this week, Jake also made jokes about T.O. taking pills, calling Owens a nutter.Why does this bother you?Well, the reports I read in the sports pages claimed that T.O. was possibly battling depression.Yes.Well, I say, that would suggest maybe he needs therapy.And?If Terrell Owens is really depressed or custodytally unstable, why do the people I passion use it as an excuse to talk badly about him?Cliff takes a deep breath. Hmmm.Doesnt my dad understand that Im a psychopathic pill popper in like manner?As your therapist, I outhouse confirm that you are clearly not psychopathic, Pat.But Im on all sorts of pills.And yet you are not abusing your medications.I can see what Cliff means, but he doesnt really understand how I feel which is a mix of very complicated and hard-to-convey emotions, I realize so I drop the subject.When the Dallas Cowboys come to Philadelphia, the fat mens tent and the Asian Invasion bus are combined to create a super fellow ship that again features a Kubb tournament on Astroturf, satellite television, Indian kabobs, and much beer. But I cannot concentrate on the fun, because all some me is hatred.The first things I notice are the habitationmade T-shirts other tailgaters are stealing and selling and wearing. So many different slogans and images. One has a cartoon of a wee boy urinating on the Dallas star, and the caption reads dallas sucks. t.o. swallows pills. Another shirt has a large prescription bottle with the universal skull-and-crossbones poison symbol on the label and terrell owens indite underneath. Yet another version features the pill bottle on the front and a gun on the screen, under which the caption reads T.O., if at first you dont succeed, buy a gun. A nearby tailgater has nailed T.O.s old Eagles jersey to a ten-foot cross, which is also covered with orange prescription bottles that look exactly like mine. People are burning their old T.O. jerseys in the parking lot human-size doll s in T.O. jerseys are strung up so people can hit them with bats. And horizontal though I do not like any Dallas Cowboy, I feel sort of bad for Terrell Owens because maybe he really is a sad quat who is having trouble with his mind. Who knows, maybe he really did try to kill himself? And yet everyone mocks him, as if his mental health is a joke or maybe they want to push him over the edge and would like nothing more than to see T.O. dead.Because of my poor throws, Cliff and I get knocked out of the Kubb tournament early, losing the five bucks my familiar fronted me, and this is when Cliff asks me to help him move some India Pale Ale out of the Asian Invasion bus. When we are inside of the bus, he closes the door and says, Whats wrong?Nothing, I say.You werent eve looking to see where your batons landed, you were so distracted during the Kubb stakes.I say nothing.Whats wrong? Youre not in your leather seat.Cliff sits dash off, pats the bus seat, and says, Pleather will have to do today.I sit down in the seat across from Cliff and say, I just feel bad for T.O. Thats all.Hes getting millions of dollars to endure this type of criticism. And he thrives on it. He brings it on himself with those touchdown dances and the hoopla. And these people dont really want T.O. to die they just dont want him to perform well today. Its all in good fun.Now, I know what Cliff means, but it doesnt seem like good fun to me. And regardless of whether T.O. is a millionaire or not, Im not sure T-shirts encouraging anyone to shoot himself in the head should be condoned by my therapist. But I dont say anything.Back outside the bus I see that Jake and Ashwini are in the final game of the Kubb tournament, so I try to cheer for them and block out the hatred that surrounds me.Inside the Linc, all throughout the first half, the crowd sings, O.D. O.D., O.D., O.D. O.D. O.D. Jake explains that the crowd used to sing, T.O. T.O., T.O., T.O. T.O. T.O. fanny when Owens was an Eagle. I w atch Owens on the sideline, and even though he doesnt have many catches yet, he seems to be dancing to the rhythm of the crowds O.D. song, and I wonder if he is really so immune to seventy thousand people mocking his near overdose or if he really feels differently inside. Again I cant help smack bad for the guy. I wonder what I would do if seventy thousand people mocked my forgetting the last few years of my life.By halftime Hank Baskett has two catches for twenty-five yards, but the Eagles are losing 21 17.All throughout the second half, Lincoln Financial Field is alive we Eagles fans know that first place in the NFC East is at stake.With just under eight minutes to go in the third, everything changes.McNabb throws a long one down the left side of the field. Everyone in my section stands to see what will happen. Number 84 catches the ball in Dallas territory, puts a move on the defender, takes off for the end zone, and then I am in the air. Under me are Scott and Jake. Im riding high on their shoulders. Everyone in our section is high-fiving me because Hank Baskett has finally scored his first NFL touchdown an eighty-seven-yarder and of course I am wearing my Baskett jersey. The Eagles are winning, and I am so happy that I forget all about T.O. and start to think about my dad watching at home on his huge television, and I wonder if maybe the TV cameras caught me when I was riding high on Jakes and Scotts shoulders. Maybe Dad saw a life-sized me celebrating on his flat screen, and maybe he is even proud.A series of tense moments get our hearts beating at the end of the fourth quarter, when Dallas is driving, down 31 24. A score will send the game into OT. But Lito Sheppard intercepts Bledsoe and returns the pick for a TD, and the whole stadium sings the Eagles fight song and chants the letters, and the day is ours.When the measure ticks down, I look for T.O. and see him sprint off the field and into the locker room without even shaking the hand of one single Eagle. I still feel bad for him.Jake and Scott and I exit the Linc and run into the Asian Invasion which is easy to spot from far away because it consists of fifty Indian men, usually clumped together, all in Brian Dawkins jerseys. Just look for fifty number 20s, they always say. Cliff and I run up to each other and high-five and scream and yell, and then all fifty Indian men start chanting, Baskett, Baskett, Baskett And I am so happy I pick little Cliff up and hoist him onto my shoulders and look him back to the Asian Invasion bus as if he were Yoda and I were Luke Skywalker training on the Dagobah System in the middle section of The Empire Strikes Back, which is as I told you before one of my all-time favorite movies. E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES we chant so many times as we navigate the crowds and find our way back to our spot behind the Wachovia Center, where the fat men are detentioning with ice-cold celebration beers. I keep hugging Jake and high-fiving Cliff and chest bumpi ng the fat men and singing with the Indians. I am so happy. I am so impossibly happy.When the Asian Invasion drops me off in front of my house, its late, so I ask Ashwini not to blow the Eagles chant horn and he reluctantly agrees although when the bus rounds the corner at the end of my street, I hear fifty Indian men chant, E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES I cant help smiling as I enter my parents home.I am ready for Dad. After such a oversize win a win that puts the Eagles in first place surely Dad will want to talk to me. But when I enter the family room, no one is there. No beer bottles on the floor, no dishes in the sink. In fact, the whole house looks spotless.Dad? Mom? I say, but no one answers. I saw both of their cars in the driveway when I came home, so I am very confused. I begin to climb the steps, and the house is deadly quiet. I check my bedroom, and my beds made and the room is empty. So I knock on my parents bedroom door, but no one answers. I push the door give way and immed iately wish I hadnt.Your father and I made up after the Eagles victory, Mom says with a funny smile. He aims to be a changed man.The pall is pulled up to their necks, but somehow I know my parents are naked underneath the covers.Your boy Baskett healed the family, my father says. He was a god out there on the field today. And with the Eagles in first place, I thought, Why not make up with Jeanie?Still, I cannot speak.Pat, maybe youd like to go for a run? my mom suggests. Maybe just a little half-hour run?I close their bedroom door.While I change into a tracksuit, I think I hear my parents bed squeak, and the house seems to shake a little too. So I slip on my sneakers and run down the stairs and out the front door. I sprint across the park, run around to the back of the Websters house, and knock on Tiffanys door. When she answers, shes in some sort of robe and her face looks confused.Pat? What are you My parents are having sex, I explain. Right now.Her eyes widen. She smiles and t hen laughs. Just let me get changed, she says, and then shuts the door.We walk for hours all around Collingswood. At first I ramble on and on about T.O., Baskett, my parents, Jake, the Asian Invasion, my wedding pictures, my mothers ultimatum actually working everything but Tiffany does not say anything in response. When I run out of words, we simply walk and walk and walk, and finally we are in front of the Websters house and it is time to say good night. I stick my hand out and say, Thanks for listening. When it is clear that Tiffanys not going to shake, I start to walk away.Turn around, bright eyes, Tiffany says, which is a very eldritch thing for her to say, because my eyes are brown and very dull, but of course I turn around. Im going to give you something that will confuse you, and maybe even make you mad. I dont want you to open it until you are in a very relaxed mood. Tonight is out of the question. Wait a few days, and when you are feeling happy, open this letter. She p ulls a white business envelope out of her jacket pocket and hands it to me. Put it away in your pocket, she says, and I do as I am told, mostly because Tiffany looks so deathly serious. I will not be running with you until you give me your answer. I will leave you unaccompanied to think. Regardless of what you decide, you cannot tell anyone about what is inside of that envelope. Understand? If you tell anyone even your therapist Ill know by looking in your eyes, and I will neer speak to you again. Its best if you simply follow my directions.My heart is pounding. What is Tiffany talking about? All I want to do is open the envelope now.You have to wait at least forty-eight hours before you open that. Make sure you are in a good mood when you read the letter. Think about it, and then give me your answer. Remember, Pat, I can be a very valuable friend to you, but you do not want me as an enemy.I remember the story Ronnie told me about how Tiffany lost her job, and I begin to feel ve ry afraid.